What Solo Travel Teaches You About the World and Yourself

Updated: March 15th, 2023 | Posted by: Grace Kim

For 15 months, I traveled solo across the US. When I first left home to travel, my goal was to end up traveling internationally but plans changed quickly since the world went under a global shutdown. As a result, I got locked down in Los Angeles and stayed there for the majority of the year, which isn’t a bad place to get locked down in. However, it did put a long pause my initial plan to travel internationally.

When I first left home, I had absolutely no idea how I was going to survive, didn’t really have a plan supporting myself, and didn’t know how long I was going to be away from home.

All I knew was that I wanted to travel for as long as I could. Ever since I was younger, I’ve naturally been attracted to the outdoors. I’ve learned to navigate myself from city to city as early as 15 years old so I thought that buying a one way ticket would come easy.

what solo travel teaches you about yourself and the world

I was wrong.

I followed the “American Dream” route of going to college, graduating in 4 years and getting a corporate job. I even considered getting married in my mid-twenties, buying a house and having kids by 30. Well, shortly after a breakup, that dream only became a fantasy I had no desire pursuing anymore.

So I started writing a lot because I didn’t know how to cope with my emotions. I had started blogging a month prior to the breakup but had no idea it would ever evolve into a travel blog.

For months and months of blogging and expressing emotion of my current journey, I became introduced to other bloggers. Bloggers who were successful in their craft and made a living blogging and traveling the world.

The idea intrigued me so much that I became obsessed. So obsessed that I was traveling at least once a week while balancing out a full time job. Was it stressful? Yes. But was it worth every minute I had to travel? Absolutely.

>> Read More: The Ultimate Solo Travel Survival Guide

Saying good bye to comfort

I came to a point in my life where balancing two full-time jobs became extremely overwhelming. Did anyone ever tell me to pick up another full-time-like job? No, I made it up myself but I was just open to what this lifestyle could potentially provide.

Like everyone else, there was a lot going on in my life around that time and although I was doing what I loved, I wasn’t happy due to personal reasons.

I created tasks that were important but not urgent. But overtime, these made-up tasks became urgent for me to fulfill and overtime, I realized I was able to somehow monetize on this avenue of work. Desperate for time, I had the discipline and drive to pursue, but I slowly became unhappy due the amount of stress I put on myself.

I had to make a decision.

Did I want to work a stable, 9-5 job that paid the bills or did I want to quit my job and travel the world, not knowing how I was going to financially support myself?

I think we all know which route I took.

Fifteen months of solo traveling positively shaped me into the person I am today. Traveling alone has taught me more about myself and the world I knew was possible. The lessons and experiences I’ve gone through has taught me more than a college class or a textbook could ever teach me. From the conversations to the hospitality and love shown from every human being met along my journey, the impact left stains stronger than anyone probably really knows.

los angeles beach portraits — (Photo Collaboration with Phil Nguyen)

Life is full of surprises whether you want to accept that fact or not. And as long as you’re open to possibilities, you’ll start realizing how beautiful and sweet the present moment actually is. So from 15 months of survival and navigating solo travel, here is what solo travel has taught me about the world and myself:

1. You’re never really alone solo traveling

There’s a slight misconception that when you’re solo traveling, you’re truly all alone. When you’re traveling by yourself, of course there are going to be times where you’re going to be alone. But if your intention is to meet and explore with others, people will come to you. You’re going to be more open chatting with randoms as well as being more intentional with where you’re booking your stays.

Maybe you’re visiting a friend in a specific destination. Bam, you have a buddy right there. You’re transporting yourself solo to that destination, but does that discredit you as a solo traveler?

There will be instances you’ll be approached simply because you’re all by yourself, especially at places you don’t typically see someone alone at, such as at restaurants, bars and clubs. There have been countless times I’ve been approached just because I was all by myself. But that’s also where I’ve met amazing people, some who I still keep in contact with today.

2. It’s hard finding alone time

Pretty counter intuitive, but let me tell you why it’s actually pretty hard finding alone time when traveling alone.

Whether you look for it or not, all of us need time to reset. Whether you’re looking to converse with someone or not, you’ll strike conversations in the most random places. And what I’ve noticed is that most people you meet along your journey are usually interested in the fact that you are solo traveling. Minute conversations become hours long, and even into future activities.

I prefer exploring certain cities by myself, especially because I know I wouldn’t have met certain people if I traveled to places with others. But if I am planning a group trip, there have been many times I arrived earlier or left later than the rest of the group in order to get my alone time.

Especially if you plan on staying at hostels, most people have the intention of making friends. And because you’re sharing a space and living with others, it’s almost impossible saying no to group activities. It’s not like you’re trying to offend them, but many can take it that way.

3. The world is not as scary as you think

One of the most common question people ask me is if I’m ever scared traveling alone. To answer in short, no.

When traveling by yourself, you’re going to be 100% more aware of your surroundings. Obviously with caution, you’ll respond to situations differently than if you were traveling with others. But a lot of times, people are pretty open to wanting to help you out, especially because you’re alone. I can’t even count how many times someone has wanted to help me out.

Some may only want to help out because of pity, but it’s pity because most people would rather not travel alone.

Most people in the world are not out here to hurt you. Everyone has obligations to fill and responsibilities to take care of. There’s actually more to lose when harming someone, so why do it?

4. You can’t rely on anyone

What should’ve left me lonely and upset countless of times saved me so many friendships and unnecessary headaches. We all hear that saying that actions speak louder than words — a statement that I live by to my bones. Whether it’s someone you just met and had an amazing time with, or it’s someone you bumped into while running and errand, how many times have you told someone that you guys should catch up over dinner?

The older I get, the more responsibilities fall onto my plate, and the less time I have to play catch up. Random events come out of thin air, even during scheduled plans. Sometimes these situations are more urgent to fulfill, than like a dinner date, but what I’ve learned over time is that in situations like this, falling back on Plan B will work in your favor in the long run.

Honestly, last minute, urgent matters, usually can’t be pushed back, and even though it messes with your time and schedule, what saved me feeling annoyed countless of times, is that not all expectations can be met. So from certain situations and during the early stages of my solo travel journey, I’ve learned that it would’ve actually hurt me SO much more if I depended on peoples words than on actions because the end of the day, the only reliable, support system I had was myself.

5. Setting expectations can lead to disappointment

Naturally, we set expectations. Expectations that others should fill, expectations that people should react in certain ways. When expectations are not met, we become disappointed in ourselves and although disappointments can be short, why ever let those type of feelings shape your mood? Spontaneous events can pop out of no where, such as accidents, traffic and even flight cancellations. These are things we can’t control so there has to be an opening to believing that not everything is going to work out as planned.

On the flip side, when expectations are met, we’re either happy or don’t even realize that we had ever set expectations. And when things work out according to plan, ever wonder how?

>> Read More: Why I Solo Travel

i wrote a book in a week — (Photo Collaboration with Makito Umekita)

6. Attachments exist but you have to force yourself to move on

We all have attachments. Every single one of us.

At birth, we’re naturally attached to our mothers. Growing up, we’re attached to people, relationships, things, schedules and certainty. I don’t know a single person whose ever had a mentally clean breakup with a former ex. At the very least, we become mentally destroyed because we’ve spent so much time sharing emotions and space with someone that we don’t even talk to anymore.

Well, if you look at the relationship like a waste, that’s on you. If you can’t decouple them as a part of your identity, that’s something I highly recommend you working on.

While solo traveling, I’ve become extremely attached to specific people and places. There have been way too many times I’ve assumed that I’d remain as close to someone because of our time spent together. But when I leave, there’s barely any communication. It used to internally destroy me thinking that I left such an amazing, curated relationship and would become really sad. But over time, I’ve learned that not all good relationships are meant to last.

Now when I solo travel, I still interact with people the same way I normally do but I’ve taught myself to decouple the feelings of attachment UNLESS I see something long term. Unfortunately, that won’t be for a while.

7. Some people are only supposed to be present in given moments

Have you ever found yourself in a situation you’ve had an amazing time with a random? Well, that happens a lot, especially when you’re traveling by yourself. You’re more in tune getting to know a particular person or a group of people but don’t keep in touch once you leave.

It used to kill me knowing that my relationships with certain people don’t continue to remain as strong when I’d leave.

But you know what? Maybe you were only supposed to enjoy that moment with that specific person and then move on with life. It sounds sad but with over 7 billion people in this world, not everyone deserves a spot to remain present in your life.

8. Self love is underrated but wildly important

What makes you happy? What drives you? What ticks you off? Understanding these things about yourself is extremely important. So important that sometimes we forget to love ourselves first before anyone else. The way I perceive this is that if you don’t know how to love yourself, how will it ever be fair to love someone else?

Self love is knowing how to take care of yourself. Self love is loving all your flaws and accepting YOU for who YOU are. Self love is a concept we forget to take care of because it’s easily overlooked. Most people don’t even know to consider self love and would rather cater pleasing others first. Well, continue to try and please others first because you’ll come to realize that in the end, that method is not sustainable.

9. You’ll become really really self aware

Self awareness is not as common as many think. I think it’s actually pretty rare for someone to truly be self aware. But self awareness is actually a popular trait for most solo travelers. Why? Because you don’t have anyone else to take care of, you start becoming selfish of your own sanity, which is needed for survival.

You’ll start noticing things about life, societal habits, and people’s actions before it even takes place. You’ll start to people watch and pick up habits when you least expect them to roll around. There will even be times you’ll disagree with someone’s actions and take a mental note for yourself to never act that way for yourself. Self awareness is contagious once it becomes a habit, it will then become extremely hard to get rid of because it’s become a part of who you are.

10. It’s highly likely that you’ll fall in love

Most relationships don’t last when one partner pursues and prefers solo traveling. Many relationships end because one person would rather choose to travel than stay committed in a relationship. Well, that happened to me, at least.

When you’re traveling alone, the last thing you want is a relationship. But you’ll usually be open to dating around because why not? Commonly, you’ll meet someone you click extremely well with along your solo journey and maybe even travel with him/her for extended periods of time. And no matter how hard you try not to, there’s a high chance you’ll end up falling hard for that person. That also happened to me as well.

Aside from being locked down in Los Angeles, I got into an accidental relationship with someone who is now still my best friend. Did I want a relationship? With the way I live my life, absolutely not. Was I even open to being in a relationship? Hell no! But it just happened. No matter how hard I was trying to avoid getting into a relationship, I did and it kept me in California longer than anticipated. But do I regret anything? There’s no way.

Along my journey, I’ve met many whose stayed in cities way longer than anticipated because they’ve fallen in love. It’s a beautiful love story but can also be extremely exhausting.

female photographer at los angeles beaches — (Photo Collaboration with Phil Nguyen)

11. There’s no place like home

Isn’t it nice sleeping in your bed after traveling for an extended period of time? Ever need a vacation from your vacation? Sometimes it’s true and sometimes we just need a break from diminishing an itinerary.

The more you’re out and about, the more you’ll realize how privileged you are to be able to come back to a home. I definitely didn’t appreciate having a home as much as I do now. After sleeping in a total of 49 couches, beds, hotels, cars and even bean bags, how can I not?

12. Family is your biggest support system

No matter how close or far you are from your parents, at the end of the day, family is all we really have. People come and go all the time and sometimes, it gets harder trusting ‘friends’ or people we thought were friends.

Mom and dad will always want you back home. They want to make sure their child is safe. They overfeed you to try to convince you to never leave again. Your absence will probably even make them realize how much more they miss taking care of you.

This point may only be relative to some since not everyone is close to their family. But if that’s not the case and you know you can fall back on your family whenever, it makes solo traveling that much more at ease.

13. The world conspires the best for you

I’ve come across way too many instances where things worked out so “perfectly”, it confused the hell out of me. I never questioned why, but I always questioned how? Regardless of the answer I’d get, I always thanked God for allowing things to fall into place. It may also be because I know how to flip bad into positive lessons.

Most people believe that everything happens for a reason so if there’s a time and a place for everything, why wouldn’t you be open to the fact that anything can happen at any given time? The world doesn’t want you to die traveling alone but would rather help out as much as you allow it to.

14. You’ll naturally become open minded

Freedom might be an understatement of what solo traveling actually is. It’s a lifestyle that provides perspective that’s hard to question.

You’ll start saying yes to more and start dropping loads of weight off your shoulders. You’ll slowly start forgetting things that once bothered you and the more you realize that nothing really matters, you’ll stop overthinking and just start doing. It’s almost as if you’ve discovered a part of your brain you never knew existed.

15. No one really cares; nobody should be happy for you

Traveling in general is a lifestyle that most people want. Whether it’s full time or not, tell me one person who doesn’t like traveling or taking a vacation? Pursuing travel as a lifestyle can come off as you’re shoving a glamorous lifestyle in someone’s face. You’re not doing it intentionally, but some just don’t know how to express their envy any other way. You might even run into situations where some may even find excuses to blame you for certain things and cut you off because they can’t be happy for you and your lifestyle.

If you stop traveling, who cares? If you’re a creative on the road, who really cares if you stop creating content? Because at the end of the day, no one really cares. Nobody has to care, especially the ones closest to you. That’s an expectation hard to come cross but needs to be dropped because if you keep holding onto expectations, it will only destroy you in the long run.

portraits in los angeles — (Photo Collaboration with Makito Umekita)

16. Friendships are not forever

Indefinite traveling is intimidating but is like a gift in disguise. Not everyone has the privilege to pursue traveling as a career but if you ever get the opportunity to, you’ll naturally start losing touch with many friends. Traveling or not, the older you get, people will naturally fall off. Give it time and your friend circle will shrink.

Traveling alone is a good way to subconsciously test out friendships. When you’re alone, you’ll have more time to think about your friendships back home.

On the flip side, as friends drop off, you’ll also pick up new friendships along the way. Usually, these are people within your industry but that’s because relatability creates frequency.

17. Time becomes valued at an even higher cost

While you’re traveling by yourself, you might come to realize that you prefer traveling alone rather than with a friend or a partner. You’re allowed to move at your own pace and you don’t have to report to anybody. But if you’re trying to transition traveling by yourself to with others, note that there is potential that preferences do not always match.

You may even come to a point where you wish you never asked that person to join you. If this is the case, not to sound mean but most likely, you’ll count down the days you depart from that person because catering to them is a waste of time. Especially when you’re at beautiful destinations for limited periods of time, you want to make sure you’re making the best of your time.

Time is the one thing we don’t get back. Choose who you want to spend time and and where you value your time at.

18. Social media will save you

Depending on how you view and utilize social media, social media becomes an intangible companion, which is never really bad if you’re traveling alone. If it wasn’t for social media, my time solo traveling would’ve been wildly different. The amount of people I’ve reached out to meet up and connect with is out of this world. And some I’ve connected with are some of my closest friends till this day.

In terms of collaborating and creating, photography has led me further than what I thought was possible. Throughout my time solo traveling, many have always been curious who takes my photos? Most likely, it’s a photographer I’ve connected and met with along the way.

Social media provides amazing and valuable platforms that’s allowed me to find others with interests aligning perfectly with mine. As long as you’re utilizing it with the right intentions, it has the upmost potential of opening up endless doors.

19. You stop caring about what others think about you

The moment you step away from your old, stressful lifestyle, you’ll come to the realization that nothing really matters besides taking care of yourself. No matter who you are and how you’re viewed, no one really cares about what you do.

If you did something embarrassing in public, your actions may feel embarrassing but if you really think about it, the lady sitting right across the table doesn’t really care that you tripped. She might ask if you’re okay but most likely, that’s really it.

As Nike as been proclaiming, you’ll just start doing and stop overthinking because opinions shouldn’t really matter. Nobody wants to waste their time thinking about what you care about because they have their lives to worry about.

20. Survival is dependent on urgency

You’re all by yourself. At the end of the day, you’ll realize that the only person you can really lean on for survival is you. Survival doesn’t depend on your parents who live thousands of miles away anymore.

Need a place to stay? If you don’t want to sleep on the streets for the night, you’ll do everything in your power to find a place to stay.

Need to eat but barely have funds in the bank? You’ll satisfy your desperation to get a plate of food in your hands. As long as you’re disciplined, you’ll make sure you sleep with a full stomach. With time, you’ll even pick up life hacks that can only benefit you in the long run.

If traveling is as important as you want it to be and if you’re consciously choosing to leave comfort to pursue this lifestyle, you’ll do everything in your power to make ends meet. And as long as you’re open to possibilities with a positive mindset, things usually work out in the end.

>> Read More: Solo Traveling Update: 6-Months Later

portraits solo traveling in malibu beach — (Photo Collaboration with Derek Liang)

lacma los angeles portrait — (Photo Collaboration with Derek Liang)

21. Your gut is never wrong

Intuition is like a sixth sense. There’s a reason why you might be more attentive in certain situations than in others. Your gut might be leading you to not follow a certain route for a reason. When the feeling is strong, you gotta listen to it.

During the beginning of my travels, I was in Los Angeles when I supposed to travel to Texas for a week and then back to Los Angeles. On the day of my flight, I was all packed and ready to go, the Uber driver was waiting for me downstairs, but I just couldn’t get myself out the door. I had absolutely no idea why but my gut was telling me not to go. But since the feeling was so strong, I decided to stay back and purposely missed my flight.

Fast forward a few days and the entire world decided to shutdown. I got locked down in Los Angeles.

Wow. I was in total relief.

Had I gone to Texas, I would’ve been scrambling, finding a way back to Los Angeles to get the rest of my stuff. I had absolutely no idea what I would’ve done had I taken that flight over to Texas but if it I didn’t listen to my gut, I would’ve gotten myself in an extremely unwanted situation.

22. Happiness is the most crucial to fulfillment

No matter what you do in life, happiness exceeds most emotions. When you’re solo traveling, you’ll have more than enough time to think for yourself. Commonly, you’ll probably even wonder why you do things if it’s not fulfilling.

Maybe you started solo traveling because you were in a relationship you weren’t happy in. You wanted to find internal peace while exploring the world and through that, you found your happy medium. Because at the end of the day, if you’re not happy with what you’re doing, fulfillment will be hard to achieve.

23. The concept of ‘stranger’ disappear

Once upon a time, everyone you currently know has once been a stranger. When we’re younger, our parents tell us to never talk to strangers but I’m going to break it to you. When you’re traveling alone, no one but everyone is a stranger. Don’t we go on dates with people we meet from dating apps? They’re strangers we’re willing to meet up. And after the date, they can become a nobody or somebody of significance.

The concept of stranger soon disappears because everyone has the potential to impact your solo traveling journey.

24. Journaling becomes your best friend

Before I started solo traveling, I got in the habit of journaling. Because I thought I had all the time in the world, I had moments and epiphanies sparking up left and right.

So I thought, “wouldn’t it be better envisioning my thoughts to life rather than keeping it in my mind?”

Especially if you’re traveling by yourself, you’re going to have thoughts pop up all the time. I don’t like to call it overthinking, but you just find more time to think. You’ll have a ton of time to reflect not only about yourself but also about the pursued lifestyle.

Overwhelmed with thoughts, most solo travelers I’ve met have gotten in the habit of journaling. If not journaling, then through other forms of journaling, such as through video or photo. Truly, it’s dependent on the person but what good is it to keep in thoughts and realizations that could be beneficial to others?

25. Reading grounds you

From the hustle and bustle of exploring, you’ll have days where you want to do nothing but relax. I always make the effort to bring a book wherever I travel to, no matter how much space the book takes up in my backpack.

If you’re not a reader, try audio books. Some would rather listen to audio books on a nice walk or a long hike. There’s nothing better than feeding your mind with information and perspective that could shape you further as a person.

26. You’ll re-find purpose

Now that you’ve had enough time to get away from your old lifestyle and into the act of solo traveling, you’ll naturally re-find purpose. What’s your why? What type of lifestyle were you pursuing before and what do you want to change about it now? How will you change up your day-to-day?

Why did you choose to solo travel? To soul search? To impact? Simply just to travel?

For myself, there was and still is a lot going on in my head about what I’ve learned solo traveling. Until I took a break at home, I didn’t realize how discrete this lifestyle is. And after months and months of solo traveling, I’ve come to realize that my ultimate purpose is to show people the realities of solo traveling, and to be the go-to destination travel guide. But it took me MONTHS to come to this conclusion. Don’t rush trying to find purpose and let it naturally come to you.

27. People talk a lot

The amazing thing about solo traveling is that you’ll learn a lot about yourself. You’ll realize that certain things shouldn’t come up in conversations because they’re just used as filler words. You’ll know what to and not to bring up anymore because some things are better left not said.

Your problems don’t need to be announced to the world. Referring back to lesson #15, no one really cares. Yes, your friends do care about you and your well-being but getting to the point creates higher impact than adding an entire narrative to your story.

28. Spontaneity should be the only way to live

Talk about once being the most structured person. Prior to pursuing traveling full-time, I used to plan my trips to the T. I used to create extremely strict itineraries and never gave myself room to breathe, preventing me from naturally enjoying certain places while traveling.

Fast forward months later and I’ve become accustomed to the spontaneous lifestyle. Especially while solo traveling, you’ll be exposed to events or people asking to get dinner during the most unexpected times. It’s ultimately your call if you want to change your plans or not but you also have to be okay letting certain things go. Some of the best experiences come when you least expect them to and most of the time, things work better that way.

29. You think you know it all, but you really don’t

There has to be some sort of desire to be independent if you’re choosing to solo travel. If you’re a person of dependency, it’s not impossible to start solo traveling, but it’s definitely a lot harder to get into an independency mindset.

When you start traveling, you think you’re able to fully take care of yourself. Most of the time, you may think so but at a holistic level, you’re probably not. Only with experience will you start realizing how much more you may not know about life and all the lessons potentially has to offer.

30. You used to live in a bubble

I truly believe that no matter where you’re from, if you’ve lived in a singular place for years and years, it’s almost inevitable to believe that you don’t live in a bubble. Maybe you won’t even realize that you’ve lived in a bubble until you leave.

The people you surround yourself with usually have had the same routine for years, or you can predict potential routines. These routines are highly for security or for comfort reasons but whatever it may be, you’ll start appreciating that there’s more to this world than the bubble you’ve lived in.

>> Read More: How Traveling Has Shown Me Empathy

mesquite sand dunes death valley — (Photo Collaboration with Alex Qian)

31. You’re never going to get these moments again

We all hear that life should never be taken for granted. That should always stand true and it definitely shouldn’t be taken for granted. Whether you’re enjoying a moment watching the sun set or enjoying a spontaneous date, in those very moments, you’ll soon realize that moments are not forever. And that when you’re living in those moments, clarity will reckon for itself.

Some moments are so perfect you’re never going to want those moments to end. You’ll run into them more and more and as you do, you’ll naturally become quick to not take any moments for granted anymore.

32. Everyone is human

Love, money and power are three key factors that typically drive emotion and human interaction. Everyone acts and reacts based on emotion.

Many times, people will only approach and talk to you simply because of your title and status. Some will also talk differently to you because you are someone of fame. But at the end of the day, everyone is human and we all have emotions and needs that NEED to be filled.

There are unspoken rules of proper gesture that not everybody knows how to follow. It’s sad but for example, it’s not okay being rude to someone because of your own, internal frustrations. It’s never nice expressing unmet emotional frustrations with someone just because you ‘felt’ like it. We all have our own problems and worries that if you can just simply take away negative static, you’ll come to terms that everyone you interact with is just as human as you. Show some love and kindness.

33. If you’re not emotionally strong, this lifestyle ain’t for you

If you haven’t caught the trend already, I’m an extremely emotional human being. And that all these points were not easy to get to. All these points came from personal experiences that took a lot of emotional awareness to get to. You don’t need to be perfect to pursue this lifestyle but if you’re not open to getting rocked by loads and loads of different type of events, then I don’t recommend pursuing the solo travel route.

To a certain degree, we are all know-it-alls. We all have systems that work for us that others may not understand. We have to know that the more sympathy people have for us, the worse certain situations can turn out. Emotional strength is needed to maintain survival on the road, no matter how much you think you have it all.

Solo Traveling Only Makes You Stronger

All in all, solo traveling not only teaches you more about yourself, but it also teaches you about the larger world. From all the people you’ll meet to the places you immerse yourself in, there’s no doubt you won’t gain insight from learning these type of lessons traveling alone. Whether it’s your intention or not, solo traveling will change you, as these lessons can benefit you both in the long and short run.

What I’ve learned traveling alone are merely lessons and stories I wouldn’t change for anything in the world. And as this journey doesn’t stop here, this list will only grow. If you’re fearful of traveling alone, know that you’re not alone. Just note that you may only have one regret, and that’s not trying at all.

The world is not as scary as it seems to be and if you’re desperate to soul search and find a higher quality of life, there’s no doubt you won’t find that along your solo traveling journey. Happy travels.